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## Limiting Complexity*

By:
Aayush Chadha
(School of Computer Science)
Competition Year: 2017
Votes (1) | Comments (0) |
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Are being desecrated by concepts that are just vile.

The sacred epitomes of Euclid are treated as a joke,

In a short while, mathematics might not even matter to the next door bloke.

This absurdities must be brought to a halt,

Our so called “modern mathematicians” are definitely at fault.

Alas, my words are paid no heed,

I had tried to raise my voice against this gross misdeed.

Since my appeals didn’t gain much traction,

I am trying to explain here, a tiny fraction.

I planned,

that through my book, Alice in the Underland,

People would understand ,

The calamity that awaits us,

If we don’t stop it fast, it may create a (P)fuss.

There were subtle hints in the book,

I doubt if any of you took a look

And noticed a part that was integral to the plot

As Alice became the size of a “telescope” from that of an ink blot

I had tried to question the difference between nothing and something extremely small

But I suppose I hit a wall

It didn’t seem rational to me to adhere to such an idea

Hence I passed on my confusion to little Alice

Who in turn became a little confused with her multiplication

As her answers changed their base locations

Unary, Binary, base 10 to twenty four

That is some folk lore

Poor Alice remained confused

I am willing to bet your mathematical senses were also subdued.

Don’t you see how these people are playing with the measurement system?

Just crushing under their feet, centuries of wisdom.

This was a mere introduction to the follies of my so called co-workers

As we go along we will encounter more of their shmcher( pronounce shmurker).

Lets move on as Alice did,

To meet the caterpillar who puzzled the little kid

He was wise and old,

His suggestion was multifold,

“You must keep your temper”

Was what he said

And offered her a gift

Which made her neck shift,

He had warned her,

Like I am warning you

We can’t fiddle around with proportion,

Mathematics is not a field subject to torsion.

You cannot make a pair of rules

Whose application only befools.

Now comes my favourite part,

Here Alice meets the Duchess, who wasn’t too smart

She was accompanied by a baby and a cook

And the poor baby was terribly shook

They were cooking soup when they met her

It already had too much pepper as it were

This made the party sneeze

Their noses stung like bees

The baby started bawling

And his mother gave him a nice hauling

He was thrusted into little Alice’s hands

As the mother went to play with the Queen

Alice was left to test if nursing a baby was in her gene

She finally managed to twist and turn it

The only way she found to stop it from throwing a fit

Then, a marvel took place

The baby, who was human, turned into a pig

Alice, at first, couldn’t believe in this queer case

I surely feel, Jean-Victor Poncelet had had a mighty swig

When he had thought of this weird gig.

How can one assume

that a shape transformed

can hold on

to a certain property

when you have just committed robbery

with such slobbery?

That young one was either a pig or a baby

Your geometry brings in a maybe

I disagree with this principle

You have just crucified something really simple.

I, for one, never understood complex numbers

How can something as absurd

Like the square root of a negative number exist

Weren’t real numbers enough,

That you had to cloud maths in this imaginary mist?

Reductio Ad Absurdum is the universal truth

“Quite Easily Done” should be taught to our youth.

Bear with me, we are nearing the end

Time is something I am not willing to bend,

However, Mister Hamilton saw it differently

He thought he could use TIME so gently.

You see, he came up with the quaternion system

I just knew that this was a singularly negative step.

Many of you might never use this,

but for mathematicians this was 3 Dimensional rotational bliss.

I did my bit and didn’t let the characters at the T-Party sit

They rotated around the “plane” table as long as time didn’t.

Alice joined them, and was questioned

“Why is the raven like a writing desk”?

Non commutativity of Quaternions were mentioned.

For you know, “I see what I eat” and “I eat what I see are not quite the same thing.

Without 4, the party didn’t have quite the same zing.

I thought, could explain to you a lot over here

But then you wouldn’t be able to bear.

With this I end my plea,

Please forgive me

If I came across as a little orthodox

These thoughts couldn’t be contained in a box

I can see time wind down on the clocks

*This poem is originally formatted to appear like the symbol of Pi, which is irrational, and is representative of the irrationality of modern mathematics in the Victorian times, since Alice in the Wonderland was written then and I wrote the poem the way Lewis Carroll himself would have.