By: James Mulherin (First year maths)
Competition Year: 2012
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He did poetry, read books - the whole field he did span.
He had always been sure that the arts were the best,
But one day he decided to put that to the test.
So he made it official, put an ad in The Times,
It read, "I invite all you scientists to dinner at mine,
And all I ask from you is a gift in return,
That shows me why science is all we should learn."
They came in their swarms, to prove the appeal,
But when they sat at the table there was no sign of the meal.
"Before we eat," said the host, "we shall see what you bring."
There was a murmur of agreement as they began presenting:
"The Periodic Table, I bring," said the Chemist so sure,
"It is everything in the world - all that is pure.
From the air that we breathe, to the stars in the sky,
Nobody here has such a gift as I."
"You are wrong!" came this from an engineer,
"For you've all used my gifts for many a year,
I offer the car, the shuttle, the plane and the train,
Only such things come from an engineers brain."
Another man stood and he said with a zing,
"Without physics I fear you'd have nothing to bring,
I can offer you only what keeps us on earth,
Gravity, my friends, has been here since it's birth."
The volume turned up in this heated debate,
They were effing and blinding - someone threw a plate!
The host sat perplexed at his guests so rude,
He called on a waiter to delay the food.
Then from near the back there came such a sound,
It rose above all, and so all turned around.
The mathematician had stood, they asked, "What did you bring?"
He said, "I brought e to the 'i' pi, plus one - nothing!"